I got my Maryland driver's license today. Up to this point in time, I've only ever had a Utah driver's license. The same driver's license I got on my 16th birthday. It was one of those old school licenses with an actual picture laminated on a card. I felt a certain sadness when I had to give up my Utah license in place of a Maryland one. I kind of felt like I was selling away my loyalty to the state I grew up in. I felt I was losing a token of my youth. And as I'm a big "keepsake" person, I was sad to lose my license. My Utah license had the picture of my sixteen year old self, excited to finally be able to drive my friends around in the family mini-van and to have the "independence" -- or the closest thing to independence for a teenager of sixteen -- that comes with having a driver's license. That license also had my sixteen year old signature, which is not the same signature I have now. My sixteen year old signature was pretty much my name in cursive. Now my signature is quick, less legible. The former was naive, the latter was embittered by the world. Kidding.
And now I have one of those digital driver's license. Where the picture isn't as clear or crisp as an actual photograph. Where the signature appears on your card as a result of writing your signature on a computer screen (which never turns out the way your signature really is). Where holograms cover the license. And the girl in the picture is older than she was in the previous license. It doesn't seem like my license.
It also doesn't seem like my license because I don't feel like a Marylander yet. I love it here and I'm really excited to live here, but it's still so new. I get a weird feeling of homesickness when I look down at my license and it no longer says Utah. Instead it says Maryland and there's an outline of a state I don't know too much about. I don't know the state tree (nor did I play the part of the state tree in an elementary school play), the state song, the state flower, the state bird, the name of all the counties (thanks to a song), the history of the state... And that's not to say these are important facts or even that most people in Maryland know this stuff anyway. I know it's trivial stuff. My point is just that I did know this stuff with Utah. I had a history with Utah. Moving to a new place requires that building up of local knowledge and familiarity. And that process can be very exciting and adventurous and I do enjoy it, but it just takes time. So it doesn't quite seem real yet that I have a Maryland driver's license, a Maryland address, that I'm registered to vote in Maryland. And that, all in all, I have a new home.
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4 comments:
I, for one, was glad to give up my license from my 16-year old self. I looked sick. My hair was short, curly and too poofy to get all of it in the photo. Although, I do agree it is hard to move to a completely new area. I've been in Utah for so long, I'm scared I won't be as adaptable as I used to be when I was younger. My family was always on the move, so I got familiar with a lot of state histories and customs, but there is something to be said for familiarity. And you're right, it does take time to grow accustomed to new surroundings and become a local, as opposed to a transplant. Enjoy the journey and Maryland sounds like a beautiful place to live. I'm excited for you both!
Thanks, Sarah, for the nice words.
I think it was hard to give up my license because of what it represented (and of course it didn't hurt that I liked my driver's license picture...)
I'm sure once you move somewhere again, your old gypsy ways of moving-adaptability will resurface (as well as your thieving ways). And if you ever want to come back East for a trip, you are definitely welcome!
I would totally feel the same way if I was living in another state for an indefinite period. It's crazy because when you were in Canada, we knew you'd only be gone for two years. But now you don't know how long you'll be in Maryland (or at least the D.C. area). Could be a few years, or could be that you guys stay there for the rest of your career.
Just always remember what Mrs. Balls taught us from the Fifty Nifty United States song. that is, "UTAH is the best of the fifty nifty United States..."
It is a crazy feeling to think this move could be permanent. That possibly I've entered "long term" territory. But that also helps to get situated. You become more invested in a place if you know you're going to be there for a while.
I love that Fifty Nifty United States song! I just about sing it every other day (which Eagan loves...just like that "Swim" song. Hey, hey Joe).
Oh, Mrs. Balls. I remember when she used to conduct during songs you could see her undergarments through her shirt sleeves. I had no idea what it was until I found out about mormon undergarments...and then it all made sense.
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